Just hate
Yesterday I had a call with a friend. What bothers me is the strong influence she has on me. It annoys me to hear from her without needing to call or message her. It bothers me the suffering I feel because of her presence. The emotions she manages to transmit to me. The constant feeling of hitting against something that doesn’t come out.
Now I am here. I am motionless because I feel her stillness.
Anise
I can walk away from the screen and look from a distance. You back there, facing a red wall. While I wait for you to finish. And I keep telling myself that everything is fine. Quick time before a long wait. Time that burns before a long emptiness. I brush against your image. I resist the temptation to write to you. I keep you suspended. An image of you in my mind. Your madness poorly hidden. At least to my eyes. Behind the need for certainty, the desire to get lost. Still in your room.
A woman halfway
It has been three years since I met her, and I can't say how much I know. I wish I could say otherwise, but I haven't yet found a way to get as close as I would like. Sometimes I feel like I'm where I want to be, but I realize I'm still not close enough. That I'm still far away.
So I trust my feelings and I imagine what might be there. I remain seated outside, waiting for the doors to open.