Complications

The average age of people around me in this waiting room is about ninety six years. We are here for the same reason. Just a shot of the vaccine.

We are all at-risk guys. But they had to wait fifty years more than me. I’m here. I didn’t have to wait like you. I didn’t have to wait ninety years to be at-risk. You had to, guys!

Yeah but. I don’t want to be the one who’ll die here today. They look at me. I know. They know. Probably they guess my age. They know if I’m here today with them, I’m the chosen one. I don’t know if I’ll save the world after my death. But I have been chosen in some way. They don’t. It’s too late for them.

So, I got my vaccine shot today. When it was my turn. The nurse took me into the room. I sat down. We joked around. 

She asked if I was scared. I told her I had a brain tumor last year. If that didn't kill me, I should be able to handle a flu shot. Or I hoped so. She didn't know if I was joking. I left her guessing. 

I thought… I could also mention the time I had pneumonia and was nearly suffocating from a fever. But the nurse had the needle in her hand. And she was sticking it into my arm. So I'd rather not. Or maybe it would be funny for her. I'd give her a thrill. 

She may think: Will he die? Won't he die? Can I finally have a thrilling day in this fucking clinic? (As you know nurses are very vulgar in their heads) Will I have something to tell my friends who work in the emergency room?

She gave me the shot and a paper with a list of possible side effects within the next fifteen minutes. The last one stands out to me: death. Death has always a different taste.

I text a few friends to warn them. I always like to warn people about that. I'd like to know if a friend is dying. It's always annoying to find out later. You're always left with that feeling of not having said something to them. 

Instead, I warn them. I want to be fair. I go through the chats, the groups. Telegram, WhatsApp... I don't have Instagram or Facebook. Luckily. It would be a pain in the ass to answer various messages.

I could write it on LinkedIn. Wait, what would the message be like? I think it would be something like:

"Hi. I just got the vaccine. I'm positive and I believe that we all need to work hard. We need to believe in each other. We need to be inclusive. Even with people we don't believe in. We need to be true to who we are and our values. I've always worked and I got the vaccine because I believe in it. You should too."

As a photo, of course, I would put one of me smiling and looking at the camera while they inject me with the vaccine. I don't think I would put a photo of me gasping for air on the floor while writing: "You should do it too." It wouldn't be a good advertisement for the vaccination campaign.

Meanwhile, I remember I had to buy a bag for my partner. Then she told me she'd give me the money back. I want to buy the bag. The nurse told me I should die within fifteen minutes. So I have to hurry. 

Maybe I would appreciate an Amazon Prime for people who are dying with a priority and expedited checkout. It would be bad to die while entering my credit card details. I can already imagine the photo at the cemetery with my cell phone in hand, and the credit card details blurred out. ‘Cause you can’t use my credit card. I’m dead. So sad. Other stuff.

I finished paying. Done. 

I text my partner to take good care of it. It's all very romantic. I can already imagine her telling her friends that was the last bag I bought her on Amazon, while I was gasping for air on the floor and checking out. Crying. Very, very romantic.

And, she wouldn't even have to give me the money back. The best thing I've ever done for her.